Smile confuses people

   It's autumn... Some would say it's just a dull season between summer and winter, both being much more interesting, but as far as I'm concerned, autumn is the perfect season for romance. Orange-yellowish leaves falling down in the park, couples holding hands, kids running around, and me... sitting on a bench all by myself thinking about the most puzzling thing that happened today. I can't erase it from my mind no matter how hard I try, it's like you're haunting me over and over again and what seems odd, is that in some peculiar, eerie way... I'm enjoying every moment. I don't want this, I never wanted it but it's like I can't help it... it  feels so good to know you're this close to me.
   Today, I saw you again... you were just a few meters away, in that place where you regularly drink your coffee, impatiently moving around in your chair, as you always do when nothing interesting succeeds to capture your attention. I was just passing by, knowing you were there even before I had seen you... I didn't want to watch, the simple idea of you looking at me after that conversation seemed, in some way frightening, almost terrifying! In the past days I couldn't stop thinking about you, about us... about all those hours spent together in the same room, at times, in complete silence, just staring  at each other as if nothing else mattered. It used to be just us... all alone, and THAT was enough! All those memories came back  in the moment I raised my head... I found myself stunned, hardly able to move watching you straight in the eyes as you sketched a smile... that smile, the smile which I profoundly adored and also missed, so much. I didn't know what to do... return the smile or just pretend not to see you, pretend that you don't exist? You looked elated and in a way, surprised... it's so hard to guess your thoughts for you've always been so enigmatic. I can't simply explain all the things I've seen in that smile... it was so full of meaning, so many emotions, so many feelings in one simple smile... Is that really possible? Was I imagining it? Could that smile encrypt our entire history together? I don't have an answer to any of these questions but maybe you'll give it to me one day... One day, I'll have the courage to ask and you will have to answer.
   So I returned the smile... and walked away!